Marriage matters... to pastors and parishioners

By Baron Mullis

I want to tell you about the couple whose wedding I’m not officiating this week. This is a couple that everyone loves – they’re fun, they’re generous with their hospitality, and they’re always in church.I wish I could clone them.When the movers arrived and I was sitting in a sea of boxes feeling absolutely overwhelmed, one of them came over and broke down boxes and carted them off for me.  In July.  In Atlanta.  That’s suffering for Jesus.And not only are they nice folks, who are always in church – they give deeply of both their time and their money.  These are the folks every pastor wants to populate the pews.And I consider it one of the great honors of my professional life that a few days ahead of their annual Christmas party, one of them texted me to find out what time I had to leave from the party.  (It’s always on a Saturday, and hey, I’m a preacher.)I said, “Nine-ish, why?”He replied, “I’m going to propose tonight.”“Great!  When, where will you get married?”(They are chromosomally unable to get a Georgia marriage license… too many Y’s and not enough X’s.)“California… and we don’t want to endanger your ordination, so we’re going to go to a justice of the peace.”Even though Georgia doesn’t recognize their marriage, and consequently, I could never have signed a Georgia license for them, at the rate things are changing, some day I will be able to.  And they, and whoever the next couple is to come to me, deserve better than to be concerned that celebrating their marriage could lead to disciplinary action for their pastor.That bothers me, and I hope it bothers all of us.  Hopefully, we only get one such pastoral moment with a couple, when we’re sharing in the joy of marriage with them.  And, while we’re on it, that justice of the peace is getting to do my job.The Rev. Dr. Baron A. Mullis is Pastor of Morningside Presbyterian Church in Atlanta, Georgia, and a member of the Board of Directors of the Covenant Network.