Three years ago, I stopped signing marriage licenses on behalf of the state of Idaho. As long as I was unable to officiate at ALL weddings, I wasn’t going to sign my name on any licenses. I still presided at services of Christian marriage and blessings, but the papers were signed by someone other than me. I made no claims on behalf of a state committed to injustice.

It was a pastoral response at the time. A young couple, who were baptized in our church and nurtured in faith in our congregation, wanted to be married in our church, before their church family.

They had to go to New York to get married legally. (You can read about the blessing we did at church here.)

I liked not being an agent of the State of Idaho, actually. I appreciated the separation between what happens in Christian marriage and what the state chooses to do in marriage. I know many people don’t see them as different acts, but I do. Someone can get ordained online for $20 and marry a couple on a beach, which is fine, but it is different than Christian marriage.

Anyway, this fall  the Supreme Court decided not to hear same gender marriage cases, effectively paving the way for equality in Indiana, Oklahoma, Utah, Virginia and Wisconsin. The next day, the 9th circuit struck down marriage bans in Nevada and Idaho. Marriage equality is now the reality in 32 states and the District of Columbia.

And all of a sudden, I knew where I wanted to be. I wanted to be at the courthouse with my friends, helping to sign their marriage licenses and officiate weddings for couples who have so long been denied the privilege my husband, Justin, and I have had to be married.

https://twitter.com/GlenBeebyKBOI/status/520710996868886528

Does it make sense for clergy to be agents of the state? No, not really. But with marriage equality in Idaho, I fully intend to take advantage of it. I told one of the couples who needed an officiant that I was happy to do it for them now, but that it came with support for the long run too.

I will still give the couples I marry at church the option to combine the action of the state with the action of the church. I will sign licenses if they want me to. Or they can handle that part separately. I do think it would be helpful for all of us, as we watch marriage equality spread across the land, to think about what marriage means to us.

IMG_1580

July 4, 1992

As I watched people standing in line at the clerks office last month, hopeful and excited to get their marriage licenses,  I remembered getting my own marriage license. I remembered my own wedding. We were young and probably (certainly!) didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into.

But we knew it was important to enter into it before God, in the presence of our family and friends. I’m excited for the people in Idaho who now are able to do that too, especially for the ones who have been waiting for years for this opportunity.

years in the waiting

years in the waiting

It was an honor to be there and sign my name, representing a state that is finally on the side of justice.

photo by Carolyn Blackhurst

photo by Carolyn Blackhurst

I have clergy friends who have never signed a license, and I support them in that decision. And I hope all clergy, no matter how they feel about same gender marriage, would be intentional about what it means to sign licenses. As the church moves toward the votes on Marriage with Amendment 14-F, I pray we, as a church,  will consider how participating in civil marriage is an opportunity to witness to the power of God’s love in our lives.

Since people do not have to get married by clergy or in churches, when people do choose to get married in churches and when people say, “we want to be married by a minister because we want God to be a part of our new life together”, it seems we have a particular opportunity to participate in something greater than a name on a license might indicate.

As clergy, whether we are signing licenses in a sanctuary during a worship service or signing licenses on the courthouse steps, we are more than agents of the state. We  remind people of the Divine presence in their lives, supporting and blessing their relationship, calling them to deeper commitment and covenant.

Our witness also includes continued advocacy for people who live in states that still do not offer marriage equality. We seek to be the church that models God’s grace and love, inviting society, state by state, to see God’s presence in loving, committed relationships. At this moment in our cultural battles over marriage, signing civil marriage licenses give us the opportunity to embody God’s love and justice with each signature.